Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT, MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
