Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
Where do sheep go to shop? Woolmart
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
