What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear?
White Vans!
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!
