Clean jokes

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Maserati.

Maserati who?

Why don't you clean up this Maserati?

I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...

If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?

Why can’t orphans watch clean nice content? Because they are family friendly.

Who do you call to clean up foul language?

A cuss-todian!

How does Stephen Hawking get clean?

He uses Tesco car wash.

Q: What do you call a clean idiot?

A: Soap on a Dope.

If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?

Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?

To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!

One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."

What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?

Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.

Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.

Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.

Mom: Well, it’s my house.

Little Johnny: Then go clean it.

Mom: Go to school!

At school:

Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.

Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.

Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!

Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.

She responded with a list:

- Take out the trash.

- Clean your room.

- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.

That’s all sweetie!

Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.

The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.

I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving.

I wasn't clean after this.

Your forehead is so big, Mr. Clean thought he would hire you!

Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.

Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...

What did the mouse say after its bath?

"I feel squeaky clean!"

So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!