Clean jokes

What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?

One of them won’t clean the oven.

"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."

Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?

A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.

Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?

He wanted to clean out the blanket.

I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.

How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?

What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?

He became spotless!!!

What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.

I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.

I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.

I believe in a woman's right to choose...

...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.

Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.

How do men like their women? Striped.

How does a priest like their children? Clean.

Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?

You got off clean.

A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.

Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'

Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.

Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.

It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

Why does an orphan go to a sewer?

So it can wash up.