What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
Why was Santa Santa?
Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
