What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
What is a dog with only two legs? A human.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
It’s Christmas. Merry Christmin. Merry Chrirismas. Merry Chrisis. Merry Chrsyler.
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
What would an orphan ask for Christmas?
"A someone."
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
Why can’t orphans selebrate Christmas :because they have no family
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
