Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
AIDS.
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Telling jokes is snow problem.
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
