Christmas jokes
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
Why was Santa Santa?
Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
AIDS.
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.