Christian jokes

A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."

What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?

Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!

What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?

Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!

People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.

2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!

What's the difference between a Christian and a schizophrenic?

Nothing.

A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”

A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.

She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.

Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?

He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.

Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.

Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.

WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.

I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.

What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?

A Christian.

What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?

Faithbook!

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?

I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?

What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?

When will delusional Christians grow up and realize their fairy tales aren't based in reality?

What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?

My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.

How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?

Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.