Christian jokes
What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?
Faithbook!
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.
2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?
Tell him the truth.
What do you call a Christian Asian?
Hao Li.