Choice jokes

Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.

When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"

God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitch's forehead. https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski

What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?

A Double Manhattan.

Why does Batman only wear black?

Because he's emo!

What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”

What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”

What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”

How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"

Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher. What?

Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.

Teacher. Why water?

Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

I finally stopped drinking for good.

Now I purely drink for evil.

Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?

Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."

Why did the male orphan decide to be gay?

Because he wanted someone to call "daddy."

My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

So she could have someone to call daddy.

I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.

Here's a joke: Your life decisions.

What does a skeleton tile his roof with?

Tiles.

WTF did you think he’d tile it with?

It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.