Chocolates jokes
What kind of chocolate do racists hate?
Dark chocolate.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
How a regular Valentines day goes:
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day.
It wasn't that funny.
So I just Snickered.
What is wrong with having chocolate for dessert? It tastes like shit, and I hate it.
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.
So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
The Milky Way!
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
For my birthday on Sept. 11 this year, I just want a plane chocolate cake.
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.