Chocolates jokes

If you were a food, what would you be?

Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."

Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."

Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.

Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly disappointing.

I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered.

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A candy baa.

Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.

Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.

What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?

Ones that contain nuts.

What is an alien's favourite chocolate?

A Mars bar.

Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?

A: Either way they'll kill your dog.

A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.

"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"

The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?

I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.

Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.

The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”

What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?

A Milky Way 😱

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?

If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long for fat people.

What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?

Chocolate drops.

Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.