Chocolates jokes

What do you call a black person having a fit?

A chocolate milkshake.

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)

Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

What is you main food?

Me: Pizza cause I'm cheesy.

Friend: Chocolate chips cause I have a lot of friends.

Girlfriend: Donut cause I have a lot of cream.

My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?

A: Either way they'll kill your dog.

What's brown and hurts your teeth?

A chocolate?

No. A baseball bat in my hands.

Why do trans women go by she/her?

Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.

Charlie likes big, black chocolate.

What’s the difference between chocolate and people?

You can’t buy people nowadays.

Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.

What do you call a Black man having a seizure?

Chocolate shake.

I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.

Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.

My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...

An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"

Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"