Chocolates jokes

What's brown and hurts your teeth?

A chocolate?

No. A baseball bat in my hands.

Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?

They wanted some chocolate balls.

What’s the difference between chocolate and people?

You can’t buy people nowadays.

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"

Why do trans women go by she/her?

Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.

Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"

The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"

Johnny replies: "Sure."

After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.

Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"

The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."

After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.

What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?

About 5000 calories.

You call it turds.

I call it the forbidden chocolate.

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?

Chocolate arm.

I heard a joke about chocolate.

It wasn’t that funny.

I just Snicker-ed.

Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?

It uses Hershey pronouns.

"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)

An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.

I like my women like I like my chocolate.

Edible.

Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.