What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
Chocolates Jokes
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
Once I heard a joke about chocolate. It wasn't that funny, so I just Snickered.
Life is like a raisin cookie you expected to be chocolate.
Disappointing.
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
For my birthday on Sept. 11 this year, I just want a plane chocolate cake.
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
