Chocolates jokes
What is you main food?
Me: Pizza cause I'm cheesy.
Friend: Chocolate chips cause I have a lot of friends.
Girlfriend: Donut cause I have a lot of cream.
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
Le fishe
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
For my birthday on Sept. 11 this year, I just want a plane chocolate cake.
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
What do you call a black person having a fit?
A chocolate milkshake.
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.
The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."