Chocolates jokes

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.

What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?

Her-she.

Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.

Life's like a box of chocolates. Doesn't last long for fat people.

You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.

If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.

Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?

Because he didn't want plane.

What is a gorilla's favorite cookie?

It's chocolate chimp.

What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?

The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.

Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.

This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.

My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.

What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?

The Milky Way!

How are Asians like a box of chocolates?

Either way, they’ll kill your dog.

Roses are red, chocolate is brown,

I expect nothing and still get let down!

Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.

When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.

Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"

I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.

Little Johnny walks out to the garage and sees Dad smoking a cigarette. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.

About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage and sees his Dad drinking a beer. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.

About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a big plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven. His Dad says, "Wow, Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies. You think I can have some?" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass?" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, yes, Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass." Little Johnny says, "Well, Dad, you can go FUCK yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"

What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?

Stiff chocolate.