Children jokes
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."
Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.