Children jokes
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
Why do orphans live in an orphanage?
Answer: Because they are wanted there.
There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?
10 year olds.
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.