Children jokes
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Why is it so easy bullying orphans?
They can’t tell their mom.
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
What flour do orphans use?
Self-raising flour.
Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...
Oh wait...
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.