Children jokes
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
When you reconstruct Michael Jackson and Lil Nas X to wreak havoc on preschool.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.