Children jokes

Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.

Why can you bully orphans?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.

I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"

Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?

Mom forgot to come back with the milk.

Why can orphans never go to the shops?

'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.

What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?

They are both invisible.

The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.

Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?

Because they’ve got guardians!

I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?

Because they have no parents to run to.

Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.

What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?

A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...

I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.

Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.

I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

What time do babies get dirty?

Playtime.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

When you reconstruct Michael Jackson and Lil Nas X to wreak havoc on preschool.

An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"

Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"