Children jokes
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"
Because it doesn't matter your age.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
My parents love me.
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.