Children jokes

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?

My big green pedo machine.

What do you call a white kid at the back of class?

A school shooter.

I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.

Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.

Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.

What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.

Why are orphans bad at poker?

They don't know what a full house is.

Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?

Because who wants a traffic an adult?

Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

'Cause they don't know where the home page is.

Why can’t orphans ride bikes?

Because they don’t have parent supervision.

When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.

And into a children's birthday party.

What’s an orphan's favorite food?

: Not home food.

Me: Hey, I’m your mom.

Orphan: Yay, you came back!

Me: Sike!

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"

Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."