Children jokes
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"
Because it doesn't matter your age.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
My parents love me.
Why can’t orphans ride bikes?
Because they don’t have parent supervision.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.