Children jokes
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
Imagine orphans watching Spiderman: No Way Home.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
Why did KFC take orphan?
Because kids fattening center.
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
Why can orphans travel so much?
They don't get homesick.