Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
Children Jokes
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...
On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).
What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
Why doesn't the orphan's phone have a homepage, being it doesn't have a home?
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
What is the same with emos and orphans? They both are unwanted.
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
