Children jokes
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
My parents love me.
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
Memes
*Explosion in background*
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?
'Cause they don't know where the home page is.
Why can’t orphans ride bikes?
Because they don’t have parent supervision.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
What’s an orphan's favorite food?
: Not home food.
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.