Children

Children jokes

Bear

Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."

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  • Prison

    What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.

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  • Memes

    Pineapple

    Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

    None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

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  • Hillary

    If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.

    Orphan

    So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

    Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

    Terrorism

    What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

    “Here comes the airplane!”

    Orphan

    Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?

    Because they don't know what age rate they are...

    Sexuality

    1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!

    Dad: Oh, OK!

    2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.

    Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?

    Son: I do...

    Orphan

    Why can an orphan never get picked up?

    Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

    Orphan

    Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.

    Pedophile

    How do people grade pedophiles?

    1st grade to 8th grade.

    (I know it's orphan jokes but still)

    Marijuana

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

    Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.

    But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

    Orphan

    Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

    Oh wait...