Children jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
Person: Where's your mom and dad?
Orphan: :(
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
Memes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them, with fuck.
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
Stop! Stop the orphan jokers!
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
What game is for kids? Uno.