How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
What's rap boats got in common with plastic bags? They both a danger to young children.
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.
Why do Asians abandon their children?
They're bad at math.
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
how do homeless people punish their children? what are there children going to do go to their room.
Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
Orphan jokes? They protest.
A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
