I just killed a family of five.
Now I’m an orphan.
Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"
Because it doesn't matter your age.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"
Orphan jokes? They protest.
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle.
Why the fuck would I do that? I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn on my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me on the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watched and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead of from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with me I wouldn't feel lonely. Well, I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, I took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forget the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forget what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what I did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.
i just donated 100$ to a blind children charity, suck that no one will see it
Why can’t orphans play baseball
Cause they can never hit a homerun
What is a orphans favorite store, home depot
To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?
(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
