HIIIIIIIIIII
I LOVE ORPHANS!
Children Jokes
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"
Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."
A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.
Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."
My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.
One day, little Billy came in, pulling up his pants. The teacher asks, "Where have you been, Billy?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, little Willy came in. The teacher asked, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." Ten minutes later, little Johnny came in. The teacher says again, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, a girl came in. The teacher says, "Who are you?" She says, "I'm Beverly Hill."
There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
