Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
Which one gets bullied the most, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m am very sad that you guys are making fun of adopted kids because I am adopted:(:(😢🥺😢😭😭
Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
What's rap boats got in common with plastic bags? They both a danger to young children.
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
