Children

Children Jokes

Person 1: "I love KFC."

Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"

Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"

Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"

Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"

Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."

Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"

Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

Husband: Wait, dear... Donโ€™t do it for the sake of our kid!

Wife: Kid?

Husband: Yeah, arenโ€™t you pregnant?

My broโ€™s parents died, but he didnโ€™t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

The neighborโ€™s children challenged me to a water fight.

Iโ€™m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.