Children

Children jokes

What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.

What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.

What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.

Person 1: "I love KFC."

Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"

Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"

Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"

Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"

Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."

Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"

Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.

Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!

Wife: Kid?

Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?

They both say "Hello children!"

The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.

I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.