How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
Children Jokes
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
Why do orphans have no sense of humor?
I guess they've never heard a dad joke.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
Orphans are so vulnerable; they have no parents to tell. - Masai
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home.
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
- Home Alone
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one they can call "daddy."
Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...
Oh wait...
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
