Childhood jokes
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make it to home plate.
Why can orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home plate.
Mommy sits on my potty and sings a song about poop.
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
Why don't orphans have iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Why can't orphanages play baseball?
Because there's no home to go to.
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.
Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.
It's often said that people peaked in high school.
I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Yo mama!
Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.