Childhood jokes
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
Addison Banks Age (8)
"I'm a little brat who won't shut the hell up! And stop talking!"
What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!
Why didn't the orphan go home?
Because he didn't have a home.
Why can't the orphan get the big bag of chips?
Because it's family-size.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.
Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
What's the number one thing in an orphan's search history?
"How to find a family."
My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.
Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.
Why do I have to do the stupid joke, mum?
Yo mama so ugly that she's the reason monsters hide under the beds.
The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
What is a Care Bear's favorite job?
Take care of bears.
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.