Childhood jokes
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? "We are Family."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? "Family Guy."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? "Meet the Parents."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
I'm like a teddy bear. I don't like to be fucked.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to.
Get it?
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find their way home.
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
Orphans play baseball because I don’t know where home is.
What is an orphan's least favorite game?
44 Homes.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
The first orphan joke be like: What does the orphan not have?
A family.