Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
I'm an orphan, lol.
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your Parents."
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Why can't orphans hit a home run?
Because they don't have a home to run to...
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
