Childhood jokes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
When I was very young...
My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.
They are rapists now.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: Because they can’t find home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.
An orphan's favorite toy is a boomerang. It comes back to them, unlike their parents.
Why do orphans play baseball?
That’s the only way they can run to home.
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
Why don't orphans play baseball? Cause they don't know where home is!
Why can't an orphan be in a relationship?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What is a orphan's favorite 🎥🍿?
Home Alone.