Child jokes
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never find home.
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
My brother is cute
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"
Q: What's an emo's favourite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.