Child jokes
What's the difference between apples and orphans? The apples get picked, XD!
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
One woman said to the other, "This child is truly cruel!"
The second woman replied, "Did I say 'child'?"
The first woman said, "I beg your pardon; I didn't know you were my father!"
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
He could never get a home run.
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.