Child jokes
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
POV: That one kid tryna wink
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I went to the orphanage and yelled "your mama" jokes.
From your mom.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
I raped a disabled child.
I think she's too far gone to repair now.
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."