What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
I raped a disabled child.
I think she's too far gone to repair now.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.
If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
What is an orphan's favorite video game?
"Who's Your Daddy?"
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
