Child

Child jokes

Orphan

Why can’t orphans go on field trips?

Because they need a parent signature.

Dad

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

Memes

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.

Shooting

I took a special needs child to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.

Orphan

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know what a home looks like.

Song

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

Paedophile

What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?

They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.

Peado

"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.

Grenade

I will never forget my mother and father's last words.

"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"

Orphan

What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Orphan

What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?

A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?

A parent.

Trampoline

So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?