Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
Child Jokes
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
