Child jokes
Who is not allowed to watch PG movies?
Orphans.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."
- One of the thousands of missing children.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What are the three worst years of a black child's life?
First grade!
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
What do you call an orphan at a construction site?
Child labor.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...
Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?
because it was rated RRRRGGGG.
I am guessing you don't understand :(