Child jokes
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Memes
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)