Child jokes
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
Memes
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
What are the three worst years of a black child's life?
First grade!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.