Child jokes

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?

A child with epilepsy.

Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-

Why did the child drop their ice cream?

They got hit by a bus.

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

Why can't orphans watch PG?

They don't have any parental guidance.

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?

He said “Wynaut.”

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A bus full of children.

Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know what a home looks like.

I took a special needs child to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.