I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
I went to the orphanage and yelled "your mama" jokes.
From your mom.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
