Child jokes
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
What do you call an autistic daughter?
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."