Child jokes
Your dad went on America's Got Talent for "smoothest way to leave their child."
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
My som
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they gonna tell their parents?
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home to do it at.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
Teacher: We have a new student. He's an orphan.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Student: His parents.
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
What's hot and hard?
Me when I look at children.
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
Knock knock. Who's there? Child. Child who? Child Millissa!
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.