Child jokes
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16
I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
My brother is cute
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
Pee pee poo poo wall.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
An orphan was playing with a famous baseball player. The baseball player walks up to him and says, "Dude, I gotta teach you." The orphan goes, "Why? I got all your moves down." The baseball player goes, "But kid, you can never find home, though."