Child jokes
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?
because it was rated RRRRGGGG.
I am guessing you don't understand :(
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
Why can't an orphan read?
He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
I make baby mush.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Why did orphans play Poppy Playtime?
To get a family.
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.