Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.
I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.
Why is the orphan failing all his classes? He can't do homework.
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
