What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.
Child Jokes
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What’s an orphan's favorite drink?
Fosters.
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
After 12, it's lunch. 😂
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.