Child jokes
So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.
Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?
Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.
Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.
Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!
Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...
NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
Why do pedophiles never cum first?
Because they like to cum in a little behind.
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
How are feminists different from gorillas? At least gorillas don't abort their own children.
Memes
Like if you can relate
To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?
(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)
Bad joke: Why is it easy to bully orphans? Because what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can never find home.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause there is no home to run to.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Children are like pills.
The smaller they are, the easier they are to take.