Chick

Chick jokes

Pants

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.

Blonde

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

Brothel

What do KFC and a brothel have in common?

They’re both full of greasy chicks.

Blonde

What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?

They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.

Blonde chick

What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?

When they're on their backs, they're screwed.

Whale

I met a fat chick at the beach.

People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

Flour

How do fuck a really fat chick?

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

Front

Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?

Friend: No?

Person: Exactly.

Rose

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.

Jesus

Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?

Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!

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  • Pen

    I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭

    Hippie

    How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?

    You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

    Hunter

    Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.

    After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”

    The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”

    Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”

    Name

    Emo chick: "I wish I could feel dead inside!"

    The kid named Dead: "😄😄😄"

    Time

    One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.