Chemistry jokes

I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

Why do anions hate each other?

Because they can't handle the negativity!

What did the people do to the deceased after tests?

They bari-um.

One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"

The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."

The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"

The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."

What did the substrate say to the active site?

"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."

Which mineral is impolite?

Ironically.

Do you love water?

Then you love 75% of me.

Love is in the air...

Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!

What step did the DNA not take in his math equation?

He forgot to adenine!

What is Ba + 2Na?

Ans. Banana.

Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.

I don't trust atoms.

They make up everything.

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

If Slade were any more SENILE, he’d be pH 7.

What do stomata use to fill their pools?

Chlor-ine.

Don't trust atoms... They make up stuff.

Wanna hear a joke? Tin.