Chemistry jokes
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
What do you call a rapper who's also a scientist?
RHYME-STEIN.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.
"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Do they call it rapeseed oil because it is lube?
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
Why can you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.
If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!