Chemistry jokes
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
What do you call a rapper who's also a scientist?
RHYME-STEIN.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.
"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
Do they call it rapeseed oil because it is lube?
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
Love is in the air...
Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!
One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"
The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."
The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"
The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."
"BU" is the element of a surprise. Boo!