Charity jokes
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
I made a website for an orphanage. For some reason, it doesn't have a home page.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
In my free time, I like to help blind people.
Verb, not adjective.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
What is the biggest disrespect to send a box of tea bags to Africa?
I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.
Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.
Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.