Charity jokes
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.
Kid: Why, Dad?
Dad: So you don't get bored.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because it can’t find home.
I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."
I heard that the World Orphan Organization has a sponsor... DC Comics.
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
I make phones for orphans. Sadly, it has no home button.
Drake has too much meat. Donate to the people in need.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.
I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?
Fund razor.
It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.