Charity jokes
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?
Family size.
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation to the orphanage :)
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"? They never get old.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
