Charity jokes
Yo mama so poor, the homeless donate to her.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?
Every Dorito bag for orphans is family sized.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.
I love working in an orphanage.
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation to the orphanage :)
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?
Family size.
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!