Charity jokes

It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.

I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.

I love working in an orphanage.

I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?

A homeless shelter.

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it.

You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.

I make phones for orphans. Sadly, it has no home button.

It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.

What's the food orphans can't eat?

Family-sized ice cream.

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.

The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.

You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.

Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they're all shellfish.

"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.