Charity jokes

Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.

What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.

1 like = 1 fetus donated to the soup kitchen.

One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!

It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!

I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

I made a house for orphans and...

they had no clue how to use it.

Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.

I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.

I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.

"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"

"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"

What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?

They both couldn't make it all the way.

Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?

I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.

I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.

I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"

I made Google Earth for orphan kids.

Sadly, it does not show where home is.

In my free time, I like to help blind people.

Verb, not adjective.

Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.

Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!

Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?

How are Fortnite cards and orphans similar? They're given away.

We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.