Charity jokes

Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.

An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.

What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?

A homeless shelter.

What's the food orphans can't eat?

Family-sized ice cream.

What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?

Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.

I made a website for an orphanage. For some reason, it doesn't have a home page.

Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it.

It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!

If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?

Non-profit wh*reganisation.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

I make phones for orphans. Sadly, it has no home button.

I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.

But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.

If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...

Drake has too much meat. Donate to the people in need.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?

Fund razor.

"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"

"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.

Son: Why?

Father: You’ll need them there.