Celebrity jokes
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
To which the boy replies, "No."
The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.
At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
"Shut up," she replied.
The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"
But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.
But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.
But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.
The boy replies, "Shut up."
"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."
The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"
The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"
The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
Haha, dead.
Memes
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite movie?
Black and white.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
What's harder than titanium? Michael Jackson at the playground.
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk?
Overcharge himself.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
What's the difference between MJ and myself?
Nothing at all.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.