Celebrity jokes
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk?
Overcharge himself.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Memes
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
What's the difference between MJ and myself?
Nothing at all.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"
Yo mama is so stupid, she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Why did Michael Jackson run?
Because he lost his glove.
Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.