Celebrity

Celebrity jokes

Tuna Fish

What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?

They both come in small can.

Computer

What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?

When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.

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  • Computer

    What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

    I give a fuck when my computer crashes.

    Memes

    Difference

    What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

    I know how to use an exercise band.

    Sun

    Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.

    Sorry for posting this!

    Tree

    Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.

    Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.

    Eye

    What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!

    Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.

    Ted Danson

    What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

    What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

    What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

    I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

    What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

    What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

    What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

    Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

    Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

    How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

    I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

    Helicopter

    When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"

    Day

    On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:

    12 tap ins

    11 pointless dribbles

    10 fixed league titles

    9 missed penalties

    8-2

    6 dives

    500 million robbed from Barca

    4 UCL semi losses

    3 times he blamed Higuain

    2 retirements

    And a transfer to a farmers league.