Celebrity jokes
What did they find on Chris Rock's face? Fresh prints.
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel actually has family.
What's white and comes in little cans?
Michael Jackson.
Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?
He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?
A face full of sperm.
What is the worst player in basketball? LeBron James.
We’ve got to celebrate our differences! 👻🤝🐵🤝🍚🤝🌮🤝💣🤝🏳️🌈🤝🍔🤝🥖🤝🍕
I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.