Celebrity jokes
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
What's the difference between Kanye West and an orphan?
Kanye West has parents.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
Olivia Rodrigo
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One was famous for walking on the moon, (pause), the other fucked young boys.
What's Michael Jackson's nickname?
Nivea black and white.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't Fortnite.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.