Celebrity jokes
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
Today, I dreamt about giving head to Johnny Depp.
Then I woke up and realized that I forgot to roll my windows up when passing through the New Jersey Turnpike.
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
What's the difference between Kanye West and an orphan?
Kanye West has parents.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
Olivia Rodrigo
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One was famous for walking on the moon, (pause), the other fucked young boys.
What's Michael Jackson's nickname?
Nivea black and white.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."