Celebrity jokes
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:
Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.
Amber Heard Daily Routine:
Get out of bed, drink coffee, take a shit on Johnny Depp's bed.
Dababy in my dickle trickle when eating my pickle.
"Dababy midget porn."
What did they find on Chris Rock's face? Fresh prints.
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel actually has family.