Cause jokes
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
SHAENAYA WANTS TO SUCK EVERYBOYS DICK BESIDES MINE CAUSE SHE A THIRSTY HOE.
Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
Why did the egg cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
Who's the fastest reader?
Me, 'cause I'll be jumping off so many stories.