Cant jokes
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why can’t orphans date?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball??
They can’t hit a home run! 😂
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
Why can't men play baseball?
Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.