I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.
Cant Jokes
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is. Sorry for the dark joke :>
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
Hey, cobalt can't. But tin can ;)
I can't with these, LMAOO!
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well, no sir." And grandpa said then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said, "Let me get a hit of that," and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and Johnny said no again. And then papaw was shootin' his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d*ck reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f*ck yourself 'cause you ain't gettin' none of my ice cream!"
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.
How do Chinese people play in Spy?
They can't.
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
Why can't orphans see their parents?
Because they don't have one!
