Cant jokes
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
Why can't orphan kids play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they will never get home.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they can't access the home screen.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They do not have anyone to call "daddy."
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
If you can't stand the heat, sit!
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
Your mama is so fat, you can't tell if she's pregnant or not.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.