Cant jokes
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
Why can't orphans play basketball?
They don't know where home is.
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They never reach home.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home, LOL.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why can't England play chess? Because they lost their queen!