Cant jokes
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent’s signature.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
The power of yeet.
I can't do this - YEET!
I'm not good at this - YEET!
I'm not old enough - YEET!
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
Your momma is so fat, she can't even go skinny dipping.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need parent registration!
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."
Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?
Because it can’t find the home button.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
What is the difference between a human being and a tree?
A human being can walk, and a tree can’t walk.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't have a home to go to.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.